I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
