this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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