i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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