i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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