woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
