My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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