To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
