my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
