i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
