After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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