Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
