if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
