I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
