Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
