tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
