If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
