And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
