Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
this hospital has no fireball
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
