soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
