what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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