"it" just moved
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
