went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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