Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
