who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
