All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
