Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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