so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
