this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
