he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
