I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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