why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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