I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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