There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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