paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
