Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
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