it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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