there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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