I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
