no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
