I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
