By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
