I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
