So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
