i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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