If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
do herpes really smell.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
