DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
