How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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