I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
