Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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