Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
