I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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