it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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