Duck Duck Cougar?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
